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It will not be easy. It won't be comfortable.
It will though, be worth every ounce of struggle.
GTFO
The first step in getting out of the narcissistic situation is to be discreet and cautious. Once the abuser realizes that you are aware, they will proceed with the Discard.
Your goal is to get out before they begin. You must plan strategically. You will need to compile evidence to prove your case if the time ever comes that you need to defend yourself and/or prosecute.
Going "no contact" is something suggested by most experts, unless you have minor-aged children and have to communicate. If this is the case, communicate in writing. If you can use a court-provided app such as Talk Parents, this is helpful for keep a history of conversation exchanges.
If there are no children involved, it is crucial that you do not disclosed your new location with your abuser. It's time to close the door on them, and to throw away the key.
Heal
The mental, emotional, and physical effects of psychological abuse wreak havoc on the body. The initial shock of a discard can lock the body in Fight or Flight mode, deregulating the nervous system. You may experience night sweats, panic attacks, paranoia, confusion. Chronic effects such as PTSD, autoimmune disorders, and depression may be experienced. None of this is fair. You did not deserve the abuse, nor the repercussions that follow. Yet, knowledge of the possible effects will help you understand them if and when they occur. You can remain in control of your mind and body, and be proactive in your healing. As soon as you GTFO and are secure, your nervous system will need a calm, safe, and trigger-free environment in which to stabilize.
There are so many modalities to help you heal...
EMDR
Psychosomatic therapy
Music - HZ frequency music
Reading
Journaling
Meditation & Prayer
Talk therapy & Support Groups
The Loving Parent ACA Program
Click for more great options!
Note: Consuming hours of content on narcissistic abuse is normal, and it certainly helps you understand your circumstances. However, be mindful of the tone and intention of the content you take in; some perpetuates victimhood by focusing solely on the bad and evil the narcissist. Content rooted in anger will only fuel your anger. We suggest immersing yourself in informative and productive content that leans into healing. We cannot control or change the narcissist. We can control and change ourselves so that we are not targeted by them again.
Take Action
Now that you are out and your healing process is underway, it's time to take action. There are many ways to do this...
Remember the evidence you collected? It's time to put it to use. You can take actions such as writing to your state reps about your experience. You can
Join a support group in your area. Don't have one? contact us at truth@theescapedgoat.com and we will hale you open a chapter of our successful Meet Up group in your area.
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